Dan Walker reveals final moments with Gary Speed as he asks himself same question

TV host has opened up about the lasting impact of his friend 's tragic death. He reveals that he thinks about the late footballer every day - but wrestles with the same thoughts every time.

“I’ve thought about that day a gazillion times about, you know, should I have seen something? Could I have had a conversation with him?,” he says. However, he is comforted by the fact that Speed's sons are now in a "really good place."

The broadcaster admits that he was "forever changed" by the events 14 years ago when Speed tragically took his own life at the age of 42.

READ MORE:

READ MORE:

Walker and Speed were colleagues on Focus, and Walker was one of the last people to speak to him. Speed left behind his wife Louise, and two sons Ed and Tommy, who were just 14 and 13 at the time.

But Walker says how he has been left heartened by how well the boys are now doing.

"Thankfully his two sons, Eddie and Tom, are in a decent place. I can't imagine what it's like for two teenage boys to go through losing a dad like that," he says. "They're trying to move on with their lives.", reports .

Walker included the boys in his book Remarkable People, which featured a chapter about Speed, and he says Ed, who was in America, sent him "the nicest email I think I've ever received" afterwards.

"It said 'I hope that one day if I ever need to explain to my wife, partner, about who I am, and why I am, they need to read that chapter,'" Walker says. "I'm glad that they were happy with how I represented them and their dad. That's the important thing to me."

Walker vividly recalls being on the Football Focus sofa alongside Speed the day before his death. "We left on great terms, and Gary's last words were: 'I'll ring you Monday and we'll organise a game of .'".

He was utterly devastated when he learned of his mate's untimely death, replaying the events up to it repeatedly in his mind. "I've thought about that day a gazillion times about, you know, should I have seen something? Could I have had a conversation with him? ," he confessed.

Dan has been profoundly affected by the tragedy, which has fuelled his commitment to advocating for children’s mental health.

Alongside sports icon Jessica Ennis-Hill and comedian Jon Richardson, he's rolled out the children's mental health initiative Bright Young Dreams. He admits, "The darker times including Gary have informed a lot of conversations that I've been having around the charity," adding, "You can't be unchanged by that. I think maybe, hopefully,it's tuned me to be a better listener."

Despite the scrutiny that comes with being in the spotlight, Dan has managed to keep his mental health intact. However, he reveals that some of his TV peers have not weathered the storm so well, especially when facing the cruelty of online trolls.

He reflects on the impact: "I see how it affects some....it's really, really brutal," noting, "And I know people have left the job because they don't like it."

Although he cherishes his time on , he acknowledges that others have found the pressures of prime-time TV overwhelming.

"It's an amazing program and I'm still really good friends with lots of people on it, but it's hard to be thrust into the public eye like that," he says. "Living under that microscope for three months is strange old experience. I can see why some people find it really, really difficult, People don't like the online attention, and all the stuff on social media.

"I mentioned a particular football team once on Football Focus years ago, and somebody said that they wanted to kill my kids," he said. "I asked a pop star a few years ago a question that I don't think he particularly enjoyed, even though it had been pre arranged.

"But then I had, four or five death threats after that one, but most of them were from young girls in Brazil."

He says that he makes sure he regularly talks to his three children, which is a trait he picked up from his own parents.

"We do have lots of conversations. And the school they're in is great at doing that as well. My parents always spoke to me, and I'm a talker. I don't mind having conversations about any difficult subject matter."

Dan, known for his TV appearances, is not just about entertaining the nation; he's a man on a mission. His recent charity campaign bash at The Comedy Store in London was nothing short of a triumph, amassing a whopping £35,000 for Bright Young Dreams.

This cash injection will support new child mental health initiatives starting at Sheffield Children's Hospital, with plans to expand throughout the .

"We're having really important conversations with not just big business, but Government and people who run the NHS," Dan revealed about his campaign efforts.

The impact of his work is palpable. "Every time we do an event, every time we give a speech, people come up to you afterwards in tears. They could be a successful businessman or woman saying 'my kids are really struggling...and I don't know what to do.'".

Dan expressed his concern for the current state of affairs, "I don't know how we've got to this situation, but there's got a better way of doing this."

Bright Young Dreams is a children’s mental health campaign founded by Jessica Ennis-Hill with support from Dan Walker and Jon Richardson. The campaign raises funds and awareness in aid of The Children’s Hospital Charity, which supports Sheffield Children’s Hospital.